Saturday, December 20, 2008

Antarctic Oil: What We Don't Know Could Save Us!

Oh, Mother Earth! How sweet you have been as we humans have raped you again and again for your precious natural resources. We started off pretty harmless: salt, sugar, spice, everything nice. But then we got a taste of some of the hard stuff: Gold. Ok, we admit we got a little loopy for it for awhile. But we chilled out and we're better now, I mean hell, our currency isn't even based on it anymore. Come to think of it what is our currency based on then? (EDITORS NOTE:That's a discussion for another day.)

But now you got us hooked good on your precious, precious, life-affirming, beautuful black oil. HAND IT OVER YOU SELFISH BITCH!!!! I'm sorry but you know I just I needs a taste, baby, that's all. So its obvious we've become addicted to oil and those fuckers in the Middle East have.....well, lets just leave it at Those fuckers in the Middle East.

We needs it baby, but we're running out and we're starting to feel the effects of it. We need an answer and we need it now.

Hmm, I wonder what are those penguins and scientists doing down their in Antarctica? Fuck mining the moon, I bet Antarctica is the real oil promise-land!

So you may now be asking yourself - Yeah, why aren't all the oil companies busting balls to start drilling for oil in Antarctica. Well, that is because exploration for Antarctic oil is prohibited until 2048. Thanks a lot Protocol on Environmental Protection pussies! But, no worries because you can bet your ass that by 2040 Oil rigs will start being built there to be ready...just in case. Oil Execs: "Oh, well, we're just building reserves we won't actually start drilling until 2048...Jan.1, 2048, promise."

So Let's say they start drilling and it turns out that they south pole is packed to the brim with fresh oil. Now, we'll have plenty of oil again..and enough to ease the oil crisis for at least a little while. So, ya know, that's a plus.

But what if this oil reserve is so huge that we actually discover that oil extraction from the earth is actually necessary. So necessary in fact that if oil is not removed from Earth it causes a carbon buildup and increases the temperature of earth as a whole.

And thus, oil dependence becomes not the cause of global warming but rather the solution.

If this one simple scenario were to become true it would be an incredible turn around for the survival of mankind. But alas we both know this will probably not be the case.

Its fun to dream.

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