Sunday, February 8, 2009

43 vs. 44 by Ralph Wigglesworth

[[Alas, a blog]]

Alright Mr. Interwebs let us compare and contrast shall we? First off, what is the first thing you even noticed when you look at these two photos? That's right its Mr.(You haven't earned President yet, not until you come clean about Larry Sinclair) Obama's smug grin, his "loveable" smirk, the kind of smirk you know Karl Marx always had under his bushy beard (grown to cover-up whiskey breath no doubt). Also, have you noticed Obambi's been getting an increase in gray hairs? This kid's gonna smoke himself into a heart attack before his four years are up. But I digress.

There is he is, the USSA's new Cookie's-n-Cream Czar-in-chief smiling his half-black ass off while hes surrounded by a bunch of old women ("Cookies-n-Cream"is a new colloquialism for "mixed race" I'm trying to start). And Oh MY GoD!they all fucking match, that is ridiculous. He's signing a bill but he looks like he's at a goddamn beanie baby party. I hope this fuckin' bill had a Cathy comic pasted on the front. Its hasn't even been a month and the white house looks like one of those parties where old women wear penis-hats and pretend like they're gonna buy a dildo in front of their friends.

As a side note its no wonder chick-wings are out of stock and Spam is selling like hotcakes, and hotcakes are selling steadily: All of America's lady-force is leaving the kitchen and getting jobs with the government (Nancy Pelosi? more like The Nagger of the House, amirite fellas?). First he wants your wealth and now Obama is after your pussy too! STAND UP MEN!!

On the other hand The President (To NOFX: He's STILL MY President) is showing off how bad-ass his signature is to all his friends. And I can't hate a playa showin' off his game like that, so moving on.

Now lets looks at the bills the President and Mr. Obama are signing. Obamalama-ding-dong is signing an equal pay act for women and this right there should strike a chord about our current Economic crisis (Thanks a lot Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter). Women were getting paid on average 70 cents to ever dollar a man made, and now thanks to some jack-off bill business owners are being PUNISHED for hiring women. All jobs that require women, so I'd assume mostly the receptionist and secretaries industries, now have to have the business owners, or the important men who need secretaries, cut deeper into their profit margins in order to start paying women equally to what men were being paid. So what happens? Well, soon these businesses will have to lie about their profits (Enron), and companies will be forced to ask for bailouts (Auto-manufacturers) and soon an entire mortgage and loan meltdown and before you know it there are tons of layoffs ( Circut City, Microsoft, Starbucks, GE, fuckin' everyone man, we're all dooooommmed!) and our entire economy needs a socialist stimulus package to be saved....and why? All because these women weren't happy with what we gave them and like a bunch of Oliver Twists then went up and twisted Oba-brainless' nipples and pouting out "can we have some more siiiirrrr?"

In fact I may have a solution that will do more to help our economic recovery than any stimulus package ever could (and it couldn't so just cut my fuckin taxes already you commies). I urge you President Mr. Obama to retract that Equal Pay bill and Pass the 2009 Wigglesworth Way-Things-Used-To-Be Act.

Now on the other hand, here you have President Bush surrounded by a bunch of older, white men (Who, by the way if I might add, have controlled the world so far and I think we can all agree its worked pretty well). And these men are fighting for women (and no women even had to ask them!) as they outlaw women from joyfully killing off their young like sick mother rabbits in a creepy discover channel show. Its wrong for you ladies to get such amusement from something us men will never know the pleasure of.

So Compare and Contrast: I don't know about you but when I look back on these pictures after reflecting all I see is: A black Joseph Stalin and Jesus W. Reagan. And I know which side I'm on. (hint: they're called the RIGHT for a reason)

oh, and Mr. O.- GIVE THE REPUBLICANS BACK ABRAHAM LINCOLN!!! He didn't free the blacks so you could steal his legacy!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

wow... you will have to explain this a bit clearer when we lynch you on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.