Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Audacity of Racism by Ralph Wigglesworth

A year ago at this time 3 young men by the names of Lenny Thompson, John Johnaldson and Ralph Wigglesworth penned their one and only series of essays under the name "Point-CounterPoint-NoPoint". It was meant to appear in an issue of Bowling Green, Ohio's Only and therefore best Zine The Jist. But before it was published we had them on our show and we think we pissed them off-or they didn't have enough printing space-or something but either way the essays were never printed. They each involved us discussing the then-relevant issue of Barack Obama's pastor Reverend Wright. So without further adieu here is the Ralph Wigglesworth's contribution.

The Audacity of Racism
by Ralph Wigglesworth

Its that time of year again, the flowers are blooming, the snow is melting and the democrats are out hating America. In case you haven't seen Fox News lately allow me to get you up to speed- Barack Hussein Obama is a racist. Actually that isn't completely true. To be honest with you I don't who Obama is or what he stands for. All I know is he is a "black" man who gets a lot of young people all hopped up and intoxicated on messages of "hope" and "change". Somehow this message of "hope" and "change" is enough of a reason to get your vote, I mean let's not forget how badly Chester A. Arthur lost in 1832 with the campaign message of "more of this shit".

So how do I, as a conservative commentator, truly get to know who Obama truly is? To find what sort of values someone holds I suggest first looking at ones church. Apparently I am not alone in this as every thirty seconds on any cable news channel you can now proudly hear the wise words of Mr. Osamas....sorry typo...Obama's minister Mr. Rev. and since liberal university's love his brand of hate speech probably also Dr. Jeremiah Wright. Oh and by the way I used the word "wise" as a form of sarcasm because I really meant idiotic and I was told that when it comes to irony the kids eat that shit up.

Now what exactly does Obama's Reverend have to say - Well, look, I'll spare you from reading what this man has had to say but I'll let you know that it is nothing but anti-Americanism, Antisemitism, racism and pure San Francisco brand hate speech at its finest. These sermons will shock you to your core. This man, Jeremiah Wright, is just Jeremiah Wrong on every issue he brings up. This man, who might I add was the reverend at Obama's wedding (to a woman oddly enough), has claimed that America killed more Japanese in one day in 1945 than we lost on 9/11. Mr. America-Hater also states that Hillary Clinton will never know what its like to be called a Ni- (umm well you know the word that goes here--- you know, its like that character in Huck Finn "Blank" Jim).

He also claims that the Government introduced HIV to, and I quote "means of genocide against people of color". Look here Mr. Wright if the government was to introduce HIV it would be to take care of the gays, no matter what color they are.
Oh no, was that offensive? Well, its right out of the bible (Leviticus 18:22), the same bible that Mr. Wright loves to use against America. Now I'm not one to dispute what the Bible says but I can assure you that nowhere in the bible will you find "God Damn America", even though I do so dream of a bible that directly mentions America (but not like that stupid Book of Mormons).

I don't know if I've mentioned this but Jeremiah Wright is black, i mean like scary black, and as a result he is at war with the white man. As a white man I'd like to remind Mr. Wright that this is AMERICA not AFRICA. But it doesn't matter because Mr. Wright is one of those I-just-don't-give-a-fuck black guys. Mr. Wright reads his bible with his blinders on saying such things, as "Jesus was a poor black man", now tell me one time you've been at your grandmother's house and saw a portrait of a Jesus with skin of coal and hair like wool. That's right you can't. Lets break this statement down folks, are you trying to tell me when Jesus said "turn the other cheek" he might have actually said "Tizzle the other chizzle"? Highly unlizzikeable.

Now to be fair Obama has stated that he does not entirely agree with Mr. Wright's sermons. Now why would you go to church and learn about things you don't believe in? I understand that many people say "oh well I think when the bible says 'blah blah blah', I think it really means this...." - well those people will burn in hell. Since a young age I've been an avid bible reader, church goer, and have just always had an all around hard-on for the teachings of Jesus Christ. And if Jesus had heard these sermons he'd shit his fucking loin clothe, as I hope most Americans have.

Wait- isn't Obama a muslim anyway? Again, I don't know where this guy stands, he used to wear a turban, he was an atheist in college and now he worships a militant black jesus. When it comes down to it, all I can really be sure of about Obama is that he's just another Democrat who hates the U.S. Recently, Michelle Obama has stated that she's finally proud of America, and if Rev. Wright is who our presidential candidates learn their values from then I am sadly no longer proud of America. When it comes to voting day, you can be sure that there are no crazy preachers supporting McCain (well, if you don't count Pat Robertson, John Hagee, John Parsely ,Jerry Falwell,... ).

BIO: Mr.Wigglesworth holds a Bachelors degree in RabbleRabbleRabble. Mr. Wigglesworth is a former stand up comic who has been a co-host of The Great Debate since Jan. 2007. In August 2008 after the departure of John Michaelson, The Great Debate's former conservative commentator, and a realization to the "lessons of 9/11" Mr. Wigglesworth swore his allegiance to the Republican Party and is now the resident conservative commentator on "The Great Debate".

The Great Debate Radio Program aired every Tuesday at 10 PM on 88.1 WBGU FM and streaming at

No comments: