Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Summer Fashion Tips By Dov Charney

The recessions hard, need a job?
- 34 (Billy'burb)

::a2m? GB? AZN need apply! No LTR! Bring *snow*, Watersports a +,
>19 a big +, BDSM for BBC::
M4W, M4WW, M4MW, M4BBW, M4T (Post-op), oh fuck it, M4M, M4MM

Summer Fashion Tips
By Dov Charney

It’s that time again. Summer. Unlike me, it only cums once a year. So let’s
celebrate. Another hot American summer means only one thing…sweaty
teenagers fucking. While, I’m gettin to be an older man, I’ve fucked a lot of
teenagers. And most certainly, other men’s shares. Now I know I’m not the biggest hit with some uv u ladies but ‘ey, ya gotta admit, I make some pretty soft t-shirts.

Cover ya eyes, ladies, cuz here’s my Summer Fashion Tips.

1. Have a nice face. If ya gotten pretty uggoz over the winter, try coverin up
some a them big ass shades. Basically just look real cute. Like something
I could really stick my dick into.

2. Always keep an extra pair of tube socks in yer bag. It’ll cum in handy when
I cum on your tits in one of those beach bathrooms. Sometimes if a chick
looks real dirty, I might wear one as a condom.

3. Forgot to get rid of yer chubby fat ass before summer? Try wearin stripes.
My neice wears them and they cover up her fatass pretty well. Hell, sometimes it works so well I don’t even have to zone out to the Miley Cyrus poster on her wall when I’m fuckin here. What are you, her dad? Well, you don’t know which niece I’m talkin’ about!
(like you never got hard from a muppet?!)

4. The other day I had a dream that I was fuckin a waterfall. But then I woke
up with my dick in a mouth. So ladies surprise yrself and suck the dick of a
sleepin stranger every once in awhile. It might help ya learn to swallow something other than ya pride. Damn I’m good with words. I’m like Dov D. Salinger up in here.

5. No camel toe. Ladies, let’s get real—u got some gross parts, and let’s try
and keep it tight and clean. Dov Charney don’t need any reminders that
this ain’t ya first time doing blow in a millionaire’s hot tub.

6. So ya went and got yrslf all preggo for summer? It’s cool with the Dovster as long as the little fella don’t grab my dick while I’m all up in it.

7.That’s my lucky number. It’s exactly how many times I’ve jerked off while writing this. Take a tip from this broad and air out ya twat once in awhile.

8. Lose ya gag reflex. And if yer gonna work here, yer sense of disgust and belief in a moral universe.

9. Get a fat friend with a car. After I fuck, I tend to lose my motivation when it
cums to caring about a chick. La-Dov James, Bitches!

Those are the tips, lick ‘em up! Oh, and if you got yrself a summer job foldin’ t-shirts at American Apparel don’t be such a prude when yr boss just wants to feel ya insides.

And remember, Legalize Arizona and help overturn the 4th amendment of Arizona Senate Bill 1070.

Have a fun, safe summer!

American A-farewell,