Thursday, April 2, 2009

Anarchy in the RNC

Politically, I consider myself to be an anarchist. As an anarchist I believe in absolute freedom for all individuals, which reminds me I should probably stop using capital letters as it may make the other letters feel inferior and like there is a hierarchy to be followed.

I am always surprised how quickly people are offended by the term and how fast they jump in to defend the system that secures their imprisonment mentally, physically and spiritually and has offered them very little in return. Anarchy is the only system that demands no sacrifice of those values we pretend we believe in: liberty, freedom and justice. Nonetheless I enjoy political debate, specifically within American politics as it is usually, to put it bluntly, fucking crazy.

Politics for me is a lot like sports...except instead of tossing back and forth a ball, we're using the lives of the lower and middle class

I am by no means a Republican. Personally I feel far-right conservative beliefs fail on every single major issue for one simple reason...they justify the needs of the self first and then move outward, while far-left liberal beliefs focus on the needs of society as a whole first and work inward to fulfill the needs of the individual. Conservatism also aligns itself with traditional values that in a larger view cannot be upheld for a significant period of time as society naturally progresses forward. To be fair, the liberals of today will be the conservatives of tomorrow.....and the conservatives of today will be dead and mocked.

While spouting out satirical ramblings as Ralph Wigglesworth on WBGU's best satirical political talk program airing at 10pm on Tuesday nights I sent my email address to the RNC. Now I get all kinds of fun stuff in my inbox, for example all of the lovely John Mccain emails that began with "My friends"-ohhh, that never got old.

I recently received the RNC 2009 STATE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SURVEY and it was awesomely ludicrous. Since i feel Republicans have surprised everyone by only getting dumber and more delusional since losing the 2008 election I decided to answer them as if I was a serious rational conservative (HA!)- somewhat, anyway. I cut the boring stuff, but as you will see the survey is filled with loaded questions written in a way so that your average dumbass will know what answer it is they're looking for.
For the record, I fuckin' hate Ayn Rand. Well, not exactly "hate" but I think she's misguided.

1. Why did Republicans lose the White House and Congressional seats in the 2008 elections? Check all that apply.

Iraq War - Well it is your war, but thanks for not cleaning up your mess.
Poor Economy - Couldn't be from that 2 billion a week war or only caring about short term gains. Again, thanks for not cleaning up your mess.
Government's Response to Katrina - Oh yeah, New Orleans-remember that place?
Republican Scandals - I'll never get tired of hearing about gay republicans
Republicans acted like Democrats -
I see what you're doing here but I feel it overlooks the Republican belief "well we meant we're for small government when they're in charge, of course, duh, we want big government when we're in charge."

President Bush's policies - Who Else's policies would it be?
Liberal Media - yes, everyone is wrong except for media outlets Rupert Murdoch owns.
Other - I could go on for hours.

A recent national poll reported that nearly 25% of Americans want the government to pass more socialism. Do you agree or disagree?
Agree, but I find it pretty amazing that the Republican party claims Obama is such a fascist-Marxist but now it turns out he's not even socialist enough for 25% of Americans.

Should bureaucrats in Washington, DC be in charge of making your health care choices instead of you and your doctor?
Yes, because right now insurance and pharmaceutical companies control most Americans health care choices.

Should Republicans unite in opposition to judicial nominees who bring a personal, left-wing agenda on social issues to their jobs as judges?
I personally feel that the supreme court tends to be one of the least partisan groups involved in our political process. I feel that when a group of individuals rationally debates social issues they undoubtedly will arrive at decisions that may seem "left" leaning. I mean how far can you really defend no limits on weapons, or telling rape victims Jesus says to fuck off, or posting 10 laws from a two thousand year old book that no one follows to a tee in government buildings? If they weren't supporting slightly liberal ideas and took some of this seriously shouldn't they be locking people up for not keeping the sabbath holy and who among us would not be arrested for lying? Just try and answer that honestly. Also try and name the ten commandments in order while you're at it.

What can the Republican Party do to earn and maintain your trust?

Nothing. Sorry. Shit out of luck.

Ok, look, even this survey showcases many of the failures of the Republican party. First off blaming the "liberal media" is an absurdity to the point of being a conspiracy theory and is only creating an excuse instead of examining your failures. The party does not uphold any real values. There is no room for rational Ayn Rand style conservatism in the party. The party has consistently pandered to a fearful christian base that holds strongly to opinions they can not even begin to fully justify. The reasoning behind many conservative values fall flat on their face when confronted with actual debate and that is hardly even an opinion. This is so evident within the party that Rush Limbaugh (who I personally feel should be disowned by the party completely as he offers no background in law or politics and only secures the exact base that we should not be pandering to) had recently stated that it was obvious we "could not beat the democrats on policies and issues alone". If you cannot "beat the democrats" on policies and issues then there is no justifiable reason for the Republican party to exist anymore, especially if it it also is no longer representing a significant portion of the population. There's a good reason the neo-nazi party doesn't get equal air-time during election season..don't go down that path. Or do. I don't really care.

Politics should mean more than just smearing the other side so you can show off for Jesus.

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